Job Advertisement Translator

What they say vs What they really mean
A highly visible position means We can't afford any office partitions, let alone offices
Flexible Hours Work 40 hours means Plus whatever your supervisor asks you to.
Duties will vary refers to Anyone in the office can boss you around.
Must have an eye for detail refers to We have no quality control to speak of
No phone calls please is actually We've filled the job. This ad is just a legal formality
Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience is actually You'll need it to replace three people who just left
Seeking candidates who require little or no supervision is telling you that You're on your own here; sink or swim.
Problem-solving skills a must is telling you that This is a company in perpetual chaos and turmoil.
Requires team-leadership skills tells you about You'll have the manager's responsibilities, without the pay
Good communication skills tells you about Management communicate, you listen, figure out what they want.
Ability to handle a heavy workload is a hint that Whine or complain and you're fired!